My Failed Marriage to Cheri

Dale and Cheri

Cheri and me as newlyweds.

I was in my mid-thirties and had been looking for someone to love since I left high school.

Then I met a beautiful lady named Sara. She seemed to have a wonderful personality, but even after I made clear how attracted I was to her, she said she saw me as just a friend.
Anyway, I had a choice to make. Walk away from her, or remain and be her real friend. I chose the latter. At one point, I even helped her get a job at a Target in Arlington, Texas. Where a certain woman was already working.
Sara then met a guy named John Ellington. The moment I saw them together, I knew she had found the right man for her. A year later, I get invited to their wedding. Guess who was also invited?
Cheri Day, my own future wife and Sara’s co-worker at Target. Cheri was actually sat near me. It turned out Sara was playing matchmaker because she thought I would be a good guy for Cheri to be with. Her plan worked. I danced with Cheri at the wedding and we swapped addresses and phone numbers and we began dating. We often double dated with Sara and John.

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The Friendzone is a Sexist Myth

A friend of mine linked me to this blog entry and having known beautiful women who were great friends and I did not feel like I had to have sex with them to be with them at all, I am quite happy to have the word “friendzone” tossed out of the English language.

Feminists-at-Large

by Erin Riordan

The Friendzone isn’t real. The idea that every “Nice Guy” is owed sex or a romantic relationship by his female friends is ridiculous. And if you think that’s not what Friendzoning is about, it absolutely is.

The movie Just Friends perhaps explains friendzoning best with the line, “See when a girl decides that you’re her friend, you’re no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”

Or Urban Dictionary with, “When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, or more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do to get out without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things girls do, whether they mean it or not.”

To some degree, the assumption of every guy claiming to be “friendzoned” is that…

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Muslim-bashing and Libel Against Ex-Baha’is in Reddit

This is a direct sequel to Treachery of Baha’is @ reddit

Baha’is in reddit have come up with a new tactic for attacking those who dare to leave and then criticize their former religion; they are claiming most ex-Baha’is are just Muslim enemies of the faith who never joined.

First see this:
https://www.reddit.com/r/bahai/comments/8vd7rj/do_bahais_worship_bahaullah/

At one point, a Baha’i named t0lk asserts:

A word of caution about r/exbahai, it is mostly populated by Muslims and not by people who were formerly Baha’is.

This was noticed and commented on here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/exbahai/comments/8vhhiq/a_word_of_caution_about_rexbahai_it_is_mostly/

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“Good Guy” vs. “Strong Guy” Dichotomy

In my younger days, I was often rejected by girls and young women even though I tried to be as loving towards them as possible. I assumed that it might have been because they thought I was ugly or weak. But the real issue seems to be something I often see in politics too.

Women naturally want men that are strong to protect them and their children, and our culture seems to depict men that have a strong sense of empathy and compassion for others to be “weak”, therefore such men are not considered as suitable for a domestic partnership as men that are highly aggressive towards others.

Likewise, people generally want a leader that is highly aggressive for the same reason. That explains why George McGovern lost so badly to Richard Nixon in 1972 despite having a much better character and this was repeated with Jimmy Carter losing to Ronald Reagan in 1980, and Donald Trump winning his election in 2016.

But what people often fail to consider is that the same aggressive attitude that makes a man look strong can be twisted to hurt or abandon the very ones the man is supposed to be protecting, including his love partner and their children. By contrast, a loving, empathic man can encourage a woman to stand up for herself rather than just let a man fight for her. And he would not leave her as long as she loved him just as deeply.

I have known several cases of women who used to see me as just a friend who after being abused and/or neglected by the men in their life, later took another look at me and decided I would have been the better partner for them after all. And I would consider it an honor to help care for them.

Likewise, I am hopeful that the American people will stop being seduced by the mere appearance of strength and seek in future Presidents the most powerful character trait anyone can have: LOVE! Its being seen as weakness is sheer ignorance. Have you ever seen a mother bear fight to protect her cubs?

Leaving World of Warcraft, and Playing Overwatch Instead

This month, I ended my subscription to World of Warcraft (WoW), the MMORPG I’d been playing for nearly seven years (I started my playing back in August of 2011). There were several reasons for this critical decision.

  1. The toxic nature of the WoW community.  I have already documented how I was humiliated and betrayed by people I trusted in guilds I was a member of. The first story is HERE and the second is HERE. In addition to that, I was swindled out of a lot of money by a female WoW player I was in love with and after she got the money I sent her (she claimed she needed it to go to school so she could get better employment), she turned on me and broke my heart with lies and incredible trickery. Her name is Heather Schneider and she lives in San Antonio, Texas.
  2. My dislike for the Warlords of Draenor (WoD) expansion.  Compared to the Cataclysm and Mists of Pandaria expansions, which I loved, WoD was a disappointment, with not nearly as much content as any of the previous expansions had. Because of this, I considered leaving WoW then. My critical review and commentary of WoD is here on YouTube:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifyBH7SYZjQ
  3. My falling in love with Overwatch.  It is the height of irony that instead of an MMORPG by a rival company, it was a completely different game by the SAME company, Blizzard, that killed my obsession with playing WoW! In fact, before I started with Overwatch, I HATED most First Person Shooter games because they seemed to be all about blowing away nameless enemy targets with no regard for them as people. By contrast, Overwatch features battles between characters that seem to have real personalities, and the lore of the game actually makes you care about what happens to some of them, while hating some of the others. I even fell in love with one character in particular: Mei! Watch this video to get an idea of why:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tjcm_kI0n0
  4. Hearing about the WoW expansion to come, Battle for Azeroth (BfA).  Legion, the expansion that came after WoD, more than made up for that last expansion’s deficiencies. I really wanted Legion to be the final expansion, so the WoW storyline would end on a high note. As soon as I heard that instead we were going to have an expansion after Legion focused once again on all out war between the Alliance and the Horde, I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. I had already decided that if Blizzard ever put out another expansion that made me feel as bad as WoD did, I’d quit WoW. I just never imagined I’d feel so bad about one before it was to even be released!
  5. Trying the new expansion on beta. This was the final straw for me! I was one of the players selected to do beta testing on BfA, and it seemed like a great honor. Imagine my profound disappointment when I started playing it and found the content not only extremely buggy, but actually UNFINISHED! It felt more like an ALPHA build rather than a beta that was almost ready for release. I felt even worse when I learned that Blizzard had already set a date for the expansion’s release: August 14, 2018, only a few months away! What were they thinking?!

And so, I made the decision in May of this year to cancel my subscription in WoW and just walk away rather than endure what I feel will be a disaster waiting to happen.

Thankfully, Overwatch does not have a subscription; I just had to make a single payment to unlock everything I needed to play the game. There is no “pay to win with microtransactions” scam that some video games are known for (I’m looking at you, EA!). There are no expansions to buy; all players automatically get new maps and characters as they are released. And there are an incredible variety of characters, game modes, and other options one can choose freely from and you constantly get more from loot boxes the more you play. Even the drops from those loot boxes are strictly cosmetic; you never need to add anything to be a winner at the game. So I know now which game I will be playing for years to come!

The Issue of Alimony

As a firm believer in the equality of men and women, I see no justification for alimony being paid to a wife as part of a divorce settlement. Child support, certainly, but NOT money to the wife herself, unless and until she is disabled and completely unable to work to support herself.

Read this:

http://start.att.net/news/read/article/people-john_schneider_sentenced_to_jail_after_failing_to-rtime/category/entertainment

John Schneider Sentenced to Jail After Failing to Pay Alimony to Estranged Wife: Report

Dukes of Hazzard star John Schneider has reportedly been sentenced to jail for not paying over $150,000 in delinquent alimony.

John, 58, was sentenced to three days in the Los Angeles County Jail on Monday, according to TMZ, for not paying the spousal support due to his estranged wife, Elvira “Elly” Schneider, by mid-March.

In addition to jail time, John, who famously played Bo Duke on The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-85), will also have to complete 240 hours of community service.

A rep for Schneider did not respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment.

In February, the outlet reported that a judge gave him until March 14 to pay more than $150,000 in support to Elvira. At the time, the judge reportedly ordered John to transfer his Apple Valley property to Elvira and to resolve the property’s tax liens. TMZ reported that he did not resolve the tax liens.

Elvira filed for divorce in Los Angeles county on Nov. 14, 2014, after 21 years of marriage. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split, according to court documents.

In September 2016, he was ordered to pay Elvira $18,911 every month, TMZ reported.

The couple have three adult children: Leah, Chasen, and Karis.

This REALLY bothers me because I myself went through a divorce from my wife Cheri in 2012, and she was mentally and physically disabled, but I was not required to pay her alimony, because she still was able to work a job. Indeed the issue was not even brought up. But that was in Texas; I suspect the divorce laws are much more backward and corrupt in California.

People in California, and any other state that has this sort of absurdity, need to push for abolition of alimony in divorces. It is a relic from the time when women were either not working at all or could only hold jobs that paid far less than men. That’s not an issue now.