Category Archives: sexism

OnlyFans and Two Opposing Stories About it on USA Today

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I have written about OnlyFans before:

The War in Ukraine, OnlyFans, and Scammers

People who read that blog entry I made several months ago may assume that ALL members of OnlyFans are scammers. But even I did not think that; I was warning about ONE member of that site who shamelessly scammed me. Others I have encountered over the past year were a lot more loving and honest with me.

Here are two different articles about OnlyFans that tell completely opposite stories, and both were published by USA Today, one of the most popular news sources.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2025/12/04/nala-ray-onlyfans-anti-porn-faith-advocate/87572291007/

She made $14M on OnlyFans. Now, she’s an outspoken anti-porn advocate.

Charles Trepany

USA TODAY
Updated Dec. 4, 2025, 2:20 p.m. ET

In her early 20s, Nala Ray had it all. Or so she thought.

She lived in a $4.3 million home in California. She frequently drove luxury cars, including Ferraris, Bentleys and Lamborghinis. Her closet dripped with designer labels − Givenchy, Dior, Prada. Her favorite? A lamb-skin Chanel bag − red, with gold chains. Even her dogs, she says, sported Louis Vuitton collars.

All the luxury, however, came at a cost, she says. Ray made her fortune posting explicit content of herself on OnlyFans. In fact, she says she was one of the first to ever do so. In the early years of the website, when she made her account, no one quite knew what the fledgling, subscription-based platform would become. Maybe it’d be full of cooking classes. Or fitness tutorials. But, Ray says, because of early adopters like her, it became a de facto porn site, where anyone can upload content of themselves in exchange for cash from paying subscribers. Though not everyone on OnlyFans makes porn, the site has become known for it.

Most OnlyFans creators make next to nothing. A lucky few make millions. Ray was one of them. Over the course of her five years on the site, she estimates she made $14 million total, averaging $300,000 a month.

But after what she describes as a spiritual awakening, Ray left OnlyFans and has since become an outspoken critic of the platform. Now, she says, she wants to see OnlyFans − the very website she helped turn into a porn empire − destroyed.

Nala Ray made $14 million on OnlyFans. Now, she's an anti-porn advocate.

Her plan? By shedding light on what she describes as the hidden cost of pornography, she hopes to change the hearts and minds of those still on OnlyFans, one person at a time. She wants to see a day when no one frequents the platform anymore.

“I was so deep in the industry,” Ray says. “I was bold enough to take so many crazy, radical steps into it. And now, I’m just on the opposite spectrum. It’s crazy. That shows God’s glory.”

How Nala Ray found OnlyFans

Ray’s upbringing was tumultuous.

When she was 8, a tornado wiped out her family’s home in small-town Missouri. Her dad had an affair, leading to her parents’ divorce, but they remarried each other two years later. After that, Ray says, her dad took on a newfound religious intensity, becoming a minister. Frequent in-fighting in her Baptist community led her family to hop from church to church. She never felt like she had a spiritual home.

“You get to see a dark side of religion,” Ray says. “People will kick you out of their church, and that’s so hard to see from people that you kind of fell in love with. So it was kind of major divorces, over and over and over again.”

Things worsened when her dad took pity on a wayward 16-year-old boy, letting him live in their home. The boy molested Ray when she was 13, she says, and the abuse continued for months until he ran away one night. Ray says neither she nor her family have heard from him since.

After that, Ray began acting out. She’d sneak out of the house at 2 a.m. to meet boys. She longed for the day she could finally move out and become independent. At around age 20, she found herself in Florida, working for an orthopedics company. She wasn’t sure where to go next.

Then, she got the Instagram DM.

“A random guy on Instagram − he was verified − he reached out,” she says. “And he was like, ‘Hey, you’d be so good at OnlyFans.'”

‘I couldn’t feel much at all’

OnlyFans skyrocketed in popularity during the COVID-19 pandemic. Ray caught the wave at the perfect time, she says, joining the site in February of 2020. Her first month, she made $87,000.

It became her new full-time job − and she took it seriously.

Ray acquired a manager. She read books on men’s psychology, so she could learn how best to appeal to their fantasies. She studied popular porn trends − and adjusted her content accordingly. She went on podcasts and made outrageous statements about sex that would go viral − whatever it took to drive more people to her page. At her peak on the site, she had 270,000 subscribers.

As the earnings ramped up, so did the pressure to make more gratuitous content, she says. She relied on marijuana and alcohol to get through particularly tough filming days. Anything, she says, to numb herself.

“Honestly, I couldn’t feel much at all. I could feel angry, but I didn’t cry for years. It felt like I didn’t feel sorry for anybody,” she says. “Anytime I would have to do major scenes, I’d have to drink myself into oblivion to just do it.”

Then, Ray met Jordan Giordano, a Christian influencer, on TikTok in 2023. He didn’t know who she was. They started talking.

Giordano treated her as a person, not as as sex object. It was his compassion and gentle nudging, she says, that ultimately got her to see the life she was living differently.

In January 2024, Ray quit OnlyFans. She and Giordano wed that March.

“There was this tear inside of me. I had built this whole life. I was so independent. I didn’t need a man. I made my bag. I could have anything I wanted. I could go anywhere I wanted, even though I didn’t have a lot of friends or anything. I felt so unique, and OnlyFans had given me that kind of freedom,” Ray says. “To cross over into this very unknown world was terrifying to me. I thought so many times, ‘I can’t do this. I can’t do this. It’s too scary for me. I don’t know if I’m courageous enough to cross this line.’ And so what happened was, I continued to just talk to Jordan. I continued reading my Bible. I continued to pray. And then Jordan’s mom was actually the one that really helped me make the decision. She was like, ‘You’re on the right path, but you still have this door of darkness open, which is OnlyFans. You cannot have both.'”

Reading that story, it would be understandable if you end up hating OnlyFans, especially if you are also Christian like her. That would be a case of confirmation bias.

And here is the other story.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2025/10/16/elaina-st-james-trad-wife-onlyfans-women-society/86713083007/

Her dream of becoming a trad wife fell apart. Now, she’s an OnlyFans millionaire.

Charles Trepany

USA TODAY
Updated Oct. 16, 2025, 3:39 p.m. ET

At 36, Elaina St. James says, she thought all her dreams were about to come true.

The husband, the children, the white picket fence she’d longed for since childhood − they were within reach. Or so she thought. After four years, she says, the man she once considered her happily ever after dumped her via email − and her views changed drastically.

Now, St. James lives a life far from what she dreamed about. At 58, she’s an adult content creator on OnlyFans, a subscription-based website where she says she’s made over $1.5 million since joining in April 2021.

Before then, St. James says, she’d aspired for the lifestyle touted by today’s self-proclaimed “trad wives” (short for “traditional wife”). She pictured herself as a homemaker, subservient to her husband. If the trend had been around back then, she thinks perhaps she would have even been a trad wife influencer.

St. James knows her journey − from a “trad wife in training,” as she calls it, to OnlyFans model − is an unusual one. After all, most women neither identify as trad wives nor work in adult content − two camps that seem to be at odds when it comes to how women should express sexuality and seek fulfillment.

Elaina St. James says she dreamed of becoming a trad wife − before her life took an unexpected, drastic turn.

Still, St. James believes people can learn from her story. The way she sees it, her life offers both a warning to those who think they have it all figured out and hope to those who think it’s too late to make a change. It also highlights the pressures women face amid a surge of conflicting labels and world views.

“Women need to understand that nothing is permanent, and that’s good and bad,” she says. “As long as you are alive, you can reinvent. And that’s to men, too. … You can, at some point, decide that your happiness is more important than somebody else’s − especially if that somebody else doesn’t treat you with love and respect.”

‘This is what I’ve been waiting for my whole entire life’

Growing up, St. James says she first dreamed of becoming an actress or singer, like her childhood heroes Cher, Dolly Parton or Carol Burnett.

But the conservative culture around her influenced her views, she says. So instead, she set her sights on marriage and family, pushing any career aspirations to the wayside.

“I was always told early on… that a woman has a shelf life as far as being attractive, and that was around 40. And then, you become invisible,” St. James says. “You have one value, and it’s your looks.”

St. James worked various jobs while waiting patiently for Prince Charming. Eventually, she says he arrived, via Match.com.

The man, a handsome lawyer, she says, wanted a wife − check. He also wanted kids − check. In short, he was everything St. James thought she wanted.

“It was like, ‘This is the lottery. I’ve won the lottery,’ ” St. James says. “This is what I’ve been waiting for my whole entire life. This is worth the wait. This is the person.’ “

“I was living with him. I was taking care of everything − everything a traditional wife would take care of,” she says. “I was building a home for us and for our future children.”

Eventually, St. James says, his controlling nature started to surface. He didn’t want her talking to their neighbors, for instance. She felt cracks form in their relationship. At one point, she recalls, they decided to live separately for a month. Not long after, she says, she got an email from him ending the relationship.

Elaina St. James, now an adult content creator on OnlyFans, says she used to be a "trad wife in training."

“I’ve never spoken to him since,” St. James says. “What do you do when you get an email like that? … I was just absolutely floored.”

St. James’ worst fear had come true: She was unmarried and childless at 40. Her lifelong dream crushed, what was she to do now?

Trad wives, OnlyFans and the pressures women face

The years that followed, she says, were brutal.

St. James struggled financially working various jobs. At one point, she says, she was making about $30,000 a year, with no benefits. On top of it, she says, she also had to provide for her son, whom she conceived through sperm donation.

In 2021, St. James came across a People magazine article about a woman who made $100,000 a month on a website called OnlyFans. She thought it sounded like a scam.

But her curiosity was piqued. She began researching.

“I was almost propping my eyelids open at night. I was obsessed with finding out what this OnlyFans was,” she says. ” ‘People really do this? People pay for this? What is this? This is crazy.’ “

A few months later, she decided to take the plunge and join the website. Leaning into her age, she says, helped her find a niche − and she’s since exploded in popularity.

St. James says joining OnlyFans does come with sacrifices. She lives with deep concerns about her privacy and safety. She receives violent threats regularly. So do her family members. People in her life have also started treating her differently, including her son’s teachers.

Still, she says she wouldn’t trade her life for the subservient housewife role she once wanted.

“I went through the withdrawal when you’re in that position and then you’re tossed aside,” St. James says. “Your whole existence was about pleasing somebody else, and then that person rejects you, and you’re like, ‘Well, now what?'”

To St. James, the emergence of trad wives and OnlyFans models speaks to the financial hardships women face. Trad wives cope with this by seeking to marry men who will provide for them. Similarly, many women turn to OnlyFans because they see it as a path to financial stability. St. James, after all, was one of them.

“People are scared right now. It’s harder to live as a single woman,” she says. “There is a point in a woman’s life, in most women’s lives, where the thought of being a mom and that being a central role to you is very, very appealing.”

And though various and competing labels for women are popular right now, it’s important to keep in mind there are many different ways to live a happy life.

“I lived it,” St. James says of the traditional role she dreamed of. “And, when it went away … I was devastated.”

It would be interesting to see what would happen if Nala Ray and Elaina St. James made contact and had a discussion about their lives, past and present. And did you notice that not only were both articles published by USA Today, they were both written by the SAME REPORTER?! Talk about cognitive dissonance!

Both those women are beautiful, both as members of OnlyFans and apart from it. In both cases, their inherit worth and dignity should have been respected, always, by EVERYONE. Ray probably got sick of sexist men picking on her as an OnlyFans model and now thinks the solution is to eliminate OnlyFans, not challenging the sexism of those who harassed her (a website is only as harmful as those who use it). Likewise, it’s a safe bet that if St. James’ husband had not been such an asshole to her, she might never have gone to OnlyFans (so that was his fault, obviously). In both cases, their lives became better. And that’s the only thing that matters, period.

When “Feminists” Betray their Own Cause

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This may be almost a decade ago, but it doesn’t matter. Betrayal is betrayal and this is a prime example.

On December 2, 2015, the Goldsmiths Feminist Society posted this nonsense on their official tumblr blog.

https://www.tumblr.com/goldfemsoc-blog/134396957048/goldsmiths-feminist-society-stands-in-solidarity
Someone responded to this by saying:
tristanna

Way to go with inconsistency and hypocrisy, goldsmiths ‘feminists’

________________

Why would feminists side with Muslims against atheists? Let us look at passages from the Quran, the book that is the very foundation of Islam itself.

2:223

Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate) so go to your tilth as ye will, and send (good deeds) before you for your souls, and fear Allah, and know that ye will (one day) meet Him. Give glad tidings to believers, (O Muhammad).

___________________

4:11

Allah chargeth you concerning (the provision for) your children: to the male the equivalent of the portion of two females, and if there be women more than two, then theirs is two-thirds of the inheritance, and if there be one (only) then the half. And to each of his parents a sixth of the inheritance, if he have a son; and if he have no son and his parents are his heirs, then to his mother appertaineth the third; and if he have brethren, then to his mother appertaineth the sixth, after any legacy he may have bequeathed, or debt (hath been paid). Your parents and your children: Ye know not which of them is nearer unto you in usefulness. It is an injunction from Allah. Lo! Allah is Knower, Wise.

___________________

4:34

Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.

_________________

24:31

And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest, and to display of their adornment only that which is apparent, and to draw their veils over their bosoms, and not to reveal their adornment save to their own husbands or fathers or husbands’ fathers, or their sons or their husbands’ sons, or their brothers or their brothers’ sons or sisters’ sons, or their women, or their slaves, or male attendants who lack vigour, or children who know naught of women’s nakedness. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And turn unto Allah together, O believers, in order that ye may succeed.

_________________________

Surely that is enough to show that Islam by its very nature is anti-feminist. So why did the Goldsmiths Feminist Society take the absurd position they did? Because in most western countries, including the United Kingdom and the United States, Muslims are a marginalized people. But while you may defend the rights and dignity of Muslims, defending Islam itself is unacceptable because it is indeed a HARMFUL religion to women! The simple fact that in most Muslim countries women are treated as second class citizens is proof of that. It is NOT Islamophobic to criticize Islam for that. It is opposing SEXISM, which feminists are expected to do.

Fortunately, it seems the  Goldsmiths Feminist Society collapsed soon after this disgrace. They have not posted anything on tumblr since 2016:

https://www.tumblr.com/goldfemsoc-blog

They also haven’t posted anything on Twitter since that year:

Likewise, they have posted nothing on their Facebook page since 2018.

https://www.facebook.com/goldfemsoc/

So good riddance!

From “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” to [[I Kissed Christianity Goodbye]]

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Read this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Kissed_Dating_Goodbye

I Kissed Dating Goodbye is a 1997 book by Joshua Harris. The book focuses on Harris’ disenchantment with the contemporary secular dating scene, and offers ideas for improvement, alternative dating/courting practices, and a view that singleness need not be a burden nor characterized by what Harris describes as “selfishness”.

By the late 2010s, Harris reconsidered his view that dating should be avoided, apologizing to those whose lives were negatively impacted by the book and directing the book’s publisher to discontinue its publication.[1][2]

In I Kissed Dating Goodbye, Harris popularized the concept of “courting” as an alternative to mainstream dating. In so doing, he raised discussion regarding the appropriateness of his proposed solutions, as well as the foundations on which he based his reasoning.

According to Harris, people in dating relationships put up a façade in an attempt to appear to be what the other person wants, thus hampering the “getting to know you” part of dating. Harris said that it is more appropriate and healthier in the long run to participate in “group dates” in order to truly understand the way a particular person interacts with others; in a group setting, a person is less likely to be able to maintain a façade. Harris proposed a system of courtship that involved the parents of both parties to a greater degree than is usual in conventional dating. In an interview with Family Christian Stores, Harris indicated that “people have taken the message of I Kissed Dating Goodbye and made it something legalistic – a set of rules. That’s something that’s beyond my control, and it’s disappointing at times…”[3]

The book has been cited as an example of belief in ‘benevolent sexism’ and ‘women as property’[5] as well as promoting ‘rape supportive messaging’[6] and ‘sexual purity teachings’ that emphasize a ‘hierarchical father-daughter relationship’ and reduces the agency of adolescent girls.[7]

Christian psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend suggest that avoiding dating in order to avoid suffering, as Harris advises, causes those who do so to forgo opportunities to mature, especially through learning how to create healthy boundaries.[12]

In 2016, Harris appeared to be reconsidering the claims that he had made in the book and apologized to several who publicly communicated how the book had influenced them to stay single or had been used by adults to impose stringent rules on them.[13][14]

During a 2017 TED talk, Harris said his greatest regret about the book was him transferring his fears into the book. He said: “Fear is never a good motive. Fear of messing up, fear of getting your heart broken, fear of hurting somebody else, fear of sex… There are clear things in statements in Scripture about our sexuality being expressed within the covenant of marriage. But that doesn’t mean that dating is somehow wrong or a certain way of dating is the only way to do things. I think that’s where people get into danger. We have God’s word, but then it’s so easy to add all this other stuff to protect people, to control people, to make sure that you don’t get anywhere near that place where you could go off course. And I think that’s where the problems arise.”[15]

And also….

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joshua_Harris_(author)

In 1997, Harris moved from Oregon to Gaithersburg, Maryland to be a pastoral intern.[10][11] There, “C. J. Mahaney, a charismatic Calvinist and founding pastor of megachurch Covenant Life Church, took Harris under his wing and groomed him to take over the church.”[12] Harris was lead pastor of Covenant Life Church from 2004 until 2015.[13][6] Harris assumed the role of senior pastor at Covenant Life Church at the age of 30.[10] In January 2015, he resigned from that role due to a desire to broaden his views and connect to other parts of Christianity. In an interview, Harris said the isolation of Covenant Life, and of a small cluster of churches of which it was a part, may have fed leadership mistakes, including the decision of pastors — himself among them — to handle a child sexual abuse case internally instead of going to police.[6]

In 2016, Harris stated that he was reconsidering the content of I Kissed Dating Goodbye[15] and apologized to people who said that they had been hurt by its teachings.[16][15] In 2018, Harris disavowed I Kissed Dating Goodbye and discontinued its publication.[17] His publishers agreed that I Kissed Dating Goodbye and two other follow-up books would not be reprinted once the current stock was depleted.[18][19] Harris appeared in a documentary film called I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye, where he spoke to people who were critical of the book.[20][21]

In July 2019, Harris announced that he and his wife were separating due to “significant changes [that] have taken place in both of us”.[22][23] Subsequently, Harris revealed that he no longer considered himself a Christian and his wife began pursuing a career as a singer-songwriter under the name Shannon Bonne.[24][25][26] In addition to his previously discontinued books, with Harris’s announcement of his loss of faith, the documentary film lost its distributor due to the negative reaction from the Christian market.[27]

My guess is that his extremist views on sexuality, often called “purity culture” were so tied up with his Christian views that when he realized purity culture was bullshit, it also caused his faith to be destroyed as well. That’s what often happens to people with extreme religious views of any kind that don’t measure up to reality at all.

To illustrate the stupidity of purity culture, which is by nature sexist and unrealistic in its expectations of young people, I made this:

And I am confident that it will stand up to reality far better than Harris’ stupid book……or even his former religion!

Rape Apologists, Round Two!

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Start with this earlier blog entry:

A Horror Story of Rape, Ostracism and Triggering Memories

Focus on these passages:

I heard a group of fifteen year old girls discussing a girl in their high school who had been [raped] by a classmate talking on the train yesterday……As far as they were concerned, the girl who had accused their classmate of rape was probably not lying, but apparently should have known better than to have hung out with this specific boy because he was a “ghetto” kid who had a reputation for being a ladies man?

In other words, blacks are expected to be rapists and white girls can protect themselves by being racists. Which is bullshit, of course. Rich white men also rape!

I was raped by my puppt loves cousin as his uncle held my puppy love down to wait to take his turn on me. Fortunately, my bf finally got out of his much older uncles grasp and ran. His uncle chased him to the train station where he lost him and my puppy love called the cops to tell them his cousin was raping me…..In the year leading upto the trail, my entire neighborhood (mostly old school Italians) completely turned on me. I went from being a straight a student to a high school drop out within 6 months due to the insanity which ensued. Not only facing death threats, having guns pulled on me, having my family threatened by the family of the guy who raped me, but also being shunned by the very community I grew up in all because
a white girls like me must have been asking for it to have 3 Puerto Rican boys in my house alone. I guess that fact alone made what happened to me my fault.

The harrassment and bullying I endured at the hands of my community, including being jumped by the same Italian girls I grew up with almost every week and having their mothers who had known me as a little girl shun me and forbid me from talking to their daughters (one neighbor of mine went so far as to call me a slut and spit on me after telling me if she saw me try to talk to her daughter again she would personally fuck me up).

Not to mention what the so called “Justice System” put me through, maligning my character, questioning my morality, trying to paint me as a slut beforehand (which shouldn’t have mattered even if that had been true, which it certainly was not). As if wearing a short skirt or hanging out with a boy or two is tantamount to asking to be raped!

I see a connection between this and MRA’s making excuses for raping women.

Rape Apologists!

Women say “no” to me in one way or another on a regular basis, e.g. “no, you can’t have my number”, “no, I should go home”, “no, I’m not coming into your apartment”, and of course, the classic, “no, we’re not having sex”.

Yet somehow, when it’s all said and done, the woman is invariably happy that I didn’t listen to a single word of protest she uttered; that I barreled through her resistance nonchalantly and drove the ball to the basket. Women RESPECT this sexual insistence even if they aren’t acutely aware of it……….I’ve had hour or more long battles with a girl who had come to my room and then protested that she wasn’t going to have sex with me. Hell, it just happened again yesterday. In the end, of course, we got naked. And, she appreciated it after the fact. If a girl isn’t open to being seduced she will either not come in or will precipitate hastily from your room. Anything short of that is a green light.

Note: the website that posted those lies was eventually shut down.

But there are still people who believe the lie that rape can EVER be blamed on the one who was raped. Read this horrible story from India:

https://currently.att.yahoo.com/att/cm/outrage-16-old-girl-tied-133656911.html

Outrage after 16-year-old girl tied to her rapist and paraded through Indian village

A teenager who said she had been raped by a neighbour was punished by being bound to her alleged attacker and paraded through her village, in a ritual humiliation which has caused outcry in India.

Film of the incident showed villagers raising pro-India chants as the pair were led around by a mob of men.

Six people have been arrested after the incident, which campaigners said demonstrated the widespread shaming of victims of sexual assault.

Members of the mob struck and spat at the 16-year-old girl as they lined her path in the village in Madhya Pradesh. Those arrested included the alleged attacker and the victim’s brother, uncle and cousin.

“When I saw them doing that to her, I had tears in my eyes,” one villager called Tilak Ram Bhilela told the New York Times. “But no one could speak a word, the mob was so angry they would have killed us.”

Accounts of horrific sex crimes are commonplace in India, which has seen repeated waves of protest over the issue since the notorious 2012 rape and murder of a teen on a Delhi bus.

Yet campaigners say a culture of violence against women includes the harassment of victims, who are often considered shamed and not fit for marriage. Women are put under pressure not to report crimes and often face revenge if they do.

The teenager had told family members that their neighbour had pushed her to the floor, then gagged and attacked her. The relatives, with a number of villagers, found the man she had accused and beat him, before parading them both.

India’s government promised to do more to protect women after the 2012 Delhi rape sparked outrage. Yet despite regular protests and new laws, the number of assaults on women has not abated and prosecutions languish in the backlogged courts for years.

Recent notorious cases have included the murder of a woman in Unnao district, Uttar Pradesh, who was on her way to court in 2019 after alleging she had been raped. She was set upon by five men, including two alleged rapists, and set alight. She died soon afterwards.

Sexism is a problem because of India’s two main religions, Hinduism and Islam, both of which teach that women are to be property of men, or at best socially inferior.

In such an atmosphere, a man, even if condemned for rape, can argue that the sex was consensual. “She must have wanted it too, or she wouldn’t have been with me at all!”

Men can learn to not rape women and girls even if they have strong romantic and sexual feelings for them. It is sad that religions do not seem to teach that!

https://www.openbible.info/topics/rape

Deuteronomy 22:23-29

If there is a betrothed virgin, and a man meets her in the city and lies with her, then you shall bring them both out to the gate of that city, and you shall stone them to death with stones, the young woman because she did not cry for help though she was in the city, and the man because he violated his neighbor’s wife. So you shall purge the evil from your midst.

But if in the open country a man meets a young woman who is betrothed, and the man seizes her and lies with her, then only the man who lay with her shall die. But you shall do nothing to the young woman; she has committed no offense punishable by death. For this case is like that of a man attacking and murdering his neighbor, because he met her in the open country, and though the betrothed young woman cried for help there was no one to rescue her.

If a man meets a virgin who is not betrothed, and seizes her and lies with her, and they are found, then the man who lay with her shall give to the father of the young woman fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he has violated her. He may not divorce her all his days.

Is that why my friend was scorned and why the girl in India was scorned, because they were raped in cities and not the countryside? Location has nothing to do with it!

I remember a discussion I had with another friend about sex with underaged girls.

Being Better Educated and Changing my Opinion

Teenagers do not process information the same way adults do. Their brains have not fully developed the ability to reason and understand consequences of their actions. They act on almost pure emotion. They process information using the amygdala and adults use the pre-frontal cortex. Children and teenagers do not have the ability to reason the way an adult does, which is why they are notoriously impulsive and they are easily influenced. Adults have the ability and responsibility to protect young people and, even if put in a position where a minor comes on to them, it is their responsibility to handle that situation appropriately and not use that as an opportunity to prey on that vulnerability.

So even in a big city, an adult can manipulate a teen into sex because the teen responds naturally to peer pressure (essential as a survival tool in a natural environment of small tribes, but dangerous in larger and modern communities where one can thus “disappear” after committing an offense or crime).

If the teen later regrets the sex act, it is because their sense of personal autonomy and justice kicks in later and makes them realize they were used purely for physical gratification by the older partner, and not for love!

Which makes this meme particularly insidious:

Any adult by definition has power over a child, so sex between them cannot logically be consider consensual once the child clearly says she was raped. If you want to avoid ever being accused of rape, DO NOT EVER HAVE SEX WITH AN UNDERAGED PERSON, PERIOD! If you can’t wait until the younger person becomes legally an adult, or better still, find an actual adult to satisfy your urges, you deserve to be locked up to protect others from you!

And yes, that includes that damned pervert R. Kelly!

The downfall of Return of Kings

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I was overjoyed to see this announcement:

https://www.returnofkings.com/195790/return-of-kings-is-going-on-hiatus

Return Of Kings Is Going On Hiatus

October 1, 2018

After six years of continuous operation and 5,800 articles published, I’m putting ROK on an indefinite hiatus so I can take a break from the daily grind of maintaining the site. I don’t know when the hiatus will end.

The first factor for this hiatus is that site revenues are too low. We’ve been banned from Paypal and countless ad partners, which forced me to lay off the site editor last year and also lower payments to regular contributors. This started a negative spiral of declining content quality, site traffic, and revenues. Even the beloved comments section, which many see as the highlight of ROK, was badly hit when Disqus banned us. Currently, ROK receives half the traffic of its peak and less than one-fifth of the income.

The second factor is that I’m burned out. Keeping ROK updated, writing books, posting articles on my blog, doing live streams, and maintaining the forum has put too much on my plate. Out of everything on that list, working on ROK has become my least favorite activity because duties are centered more around editing other people’s work than creating my own.

I’m sure many of you understand that we are in the early stages of a censorship wave that will sweep through society. Scoundrels like myself get banned first, and then soon the hammer will come down on anyone who dares to share the truth. Personally, I believe that I will suffer death by a million cuts, but until then, you can continue to follow my work here:

[List of where he continues to publish his bullshit]

Lastly, I’m planning on doing a book tour in 2019, mainly in the United States. If you are interested in attending, complete this brief survey to help me identify which cities I should visit. The tour will probably happen in the summer.

In the meanwhile, if the situation with ROK changes, or I miss updating it, articles will return. Thank you for supporting the site all these years.

UPDATE: Here are some more thoughts on my decision…

[A video that has already disappeared]

What truth was he sharing? A sample of that may be found here:

An Ugly Anti-feminist

The truth is that he, like his fellow anti-feminist bigot Milo Yiannopoulos, wasn’t a victim of censorship, since only governments can do that. Paypal, Disqus, and ad producing companies are private business entities, and in a free market economy, they can choose freely to reject association with and enabling of hate speech and writing masquerading as political commentary. A really horrifying example is shown here:

https://dalehusband.com/2014/02/09/rape-apologists/

Roosh and others made a CHOICE to bash women in hateful, childish language, and no one but himself and his fellow perverts are to blame for his website falling into disuse.

free_speech

When people like Roosh and Milo are able to discuss serious topics regarding men and women in a mature, fair manner, they may be allowed to return to the table of discussion on those topics. I won’t hold my breath about that.

Purity Culture vs. Our Whole Lives

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One of the many things that makes me so proud to be a Unitarian Universalist and not an evangelical Christian is that UUs have no qualms about being open and honest about human sexuality, even when it comes to teaching children about it, especially girls.

Read this post:

https://www.cbeinternational.org/blogs/7-lies-purity-culture-teaches-women

Continue reading →

A Suspicious Story about Katy Perry

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Katy Perry is one of the world’s biggest pop stars. Early in her career, before she became really respectable, she put out a song that struck me as profoundly stupid and this video of her performing it live didn’t help:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROfwHtRWa1M

MALE peafowl have those massive tail feathers, not the females. And the song is clearly a metaphor. Buckley figured that one out fast enough. Jump ahead about nine minutes on this video and watch the Peacock song, referred to there as 2nd Place on the list:

Continue reading →

Rewriting a Sexist Story to Make it Just

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It is shocking how rigged our laws and our so-called justice system is with regards to women that are victims of domestic violence. Read this story:

Florida Woman ‘in Fear of Her Life’ Arrested for Turning Her Estranged Husband’s Guns Over to Police

A woman in Florida was arrested for theft June 15 after turning her husband’s guns over to police. She was reportedly afraid for her life.

Courtney Irby, 32, of Bartow, Fla. allegedly went to her husband’s home on June 15, took two of his guns, and brought them to the Lakeland Police Department. This happened while her estranged husband, Joseph Irby, was in jail for allegedly trying to hit her with a car. He was arrested June 14 on domestic violence charges.

After Courtney Irby turned over the weapons, authorities arrested her and charged her with two counts of grand theft and one count of armed burglary.

A police report obtained by the Miami Herald said she was “in fear of her life.” The Herald also notes that the wife had obtained a restraining order against her husband. Joseph Irby told the Miami Herald from jail that he planned to press charges against his wife.

On June 20, a Polk County judge released Courtney Irby on a $5,000 bail. She was ordered to make no contact with Joseph Irby and prohibited from possessing a firearm, according to the Miami Herald.

According to a report from the Brady Center released last October, over 525 women on average annually were murdered by a partner using a firearm between 2006 and 2016.

Since when it is theft to act in good faith to prevent a possible act of murder and expect the police to protect and serve you, not betray you?

If the events had occured in a just and logical manner, this is what would have happened instead:

Florida Woman ‘in Fear of Her Life’ Turns Her Estranged Husband’s Guns Over to Police

A woman in Florida was commended for turned her husband’s guns over to police. She was reportedly afraid for her life.

Courtney Irby, 32, of Bartow, Fla. went to her husband’s home on June 15, took two of his guns, and brought them to the Lakeland Police Department. This happened while her estranged husband, Joseph Irby, was in jail for trying to hit her with a car. He was arrested June 14 on domestic violence charges.

After Courtney Irby turned over the weapons, authorities promised to keep the guns until the legal issues with Joseph Irby were settled in court.

A police report obtained by the Miami Herald said she was “in fear of her life.” The Herald also notes that the wife had obtained a restraining order against her husband. Joseph Irby told the Miami Herald from jail that he had no intention of shooting his wife.

On June 20, a Polk County judge denied Joseph bail. He was ordered to make no contact with Courtney and prohibited from possessing a firearm indefinitely, according to the Miami Herald.

According to a report from the Brady Center released last October, over 525 women on average annually were murdered by a partner using a firearm between 2006 and 2016.

I blame opponents of gun control and the officials in government that are bought and paid for by those gun nuts for what really happened. Will we EVER learn to stop treating firearms like they are toys to play with?!

Oh, and please let us dump that idiotic “all suspects are innocent until proven guilty” nonsense in cases of domestic violence. That favors the criminal and endangers the victim too.

A Violation, an Apology and a Lack of R-E-S-P-E-C-T

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Read this disturbing story:

Bishop at Aretha Franklin’s Funeral Apologizes to Ariana Grande for Touching Her, Taco Bell Joke

Bishop Charles H. Ellis III has apologized to Ariana Grande for the way he behaved towards her at Aretha Franklin’s funeral.

During an interview with the Associated Press at the cemetery where Franklin was laid to rest following her 8-hour “Celebration of Life” funeral service on Friday, Ellis expressed regret for the way he touched the singer onstage and for saying he initially thought the 25-year-old singer was a new menu item at Taco Bell.

“I personally and sincerely apologize to Ariana and to her fans and to the whole Hispanic community,” Ellis said. “When you’re doing a program for nine hours you try to keep it lively, you try to insert some jokes here and there.”

He also apologized for touching Grande too close to her chest during their televised interaction.

Ariana Grande and Bishop Charles H. Ellis III

“It would never be my intention to touch any woman’s breast. … I don’t know I guess I put my arm around her,” Ellis continued. “Maybe I crossed the border, maybe I was too friendly or familiar but again, I apologize.”

Continuing, he added: “The last thing I want to do is to be a distraction to this day. This is all about Aretha Franklin.”

Ariana Grande

Ariana Grande

After watching Grande honor the late Queen of Soul at the service, the American Apostolic Pentecostal preacher said that, “When I saw Ariana Grande on the program, I thought that was a new something at Taco Bell.”

“My 28-year-old daughter tells me, ‘Dad! You are old at 60’ ” he joked.

In the moment, Grande appeared to take the joke in stride, as she proceeded to laugh and give Ellis a hug.

“Girl, let me give you all your respect,” Ellis then remarked. “Did you enjoy this icon? She is an icon herself. Come on, make her feel loved.”

There is absolutely no reason this incident should have happened. This was done at a FUNERAL (is nothing sacred anymore?) of one of the world’s greatest singers (who demanded respect in one of her songs, which clearly was not shown to Ariana Grande), long after so many Catholic priests have been condemned for sexual abuse of children and the “MeToo” movement has highlighted the problems with sexual abuse and sexual harassment of women by powerful men…….and yet it happened anyway.

An apology cannot be enough. This Bishop should be defrocked and banned from serving in a clerical position in any religious institution. If he did this idiotic act in public, what the hell could he be doing in private?

The Friendzone is a Sexist Myth

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A friend of mine linked me to this blog entry and having known beautiful women who were great friends and I did not feel like I had to have sex with them to be with them at all, I am quite happy to have the word “friendzone” tossed out of the English language.

feministsatlarge's avatarFeminists-at-Large

by Erin Riordan

The Friendzone isn’t real. The idea that every “Nice Guy” is owed sex or a romantic relationship by his female friends is ridiculous. And if you think that’s not what Friendzoning is about, it absolutely is.

The movie Just Friends perhaps explains friendzoning best with the line, “See when a girl decides that you’re her friend, you’re no longer a dating option. You become this complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like her brother, or a lamp.”

Or Urban Dictionary with, “When you are expected to support a girl you really like while she searches for a smarter, richer, or more handsome boyfriend. There is little you can do to get out without feeling like a dick. All in all, one of the meanest things girls do, whether they mean it or not.”

To some degree, the assumption of every guy claiming to be “friendzoned” is that…

View original post 1,019 more words

The Issue of Alimony

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As a firm believer in the equality of men and women, I see no justification for alimony being paid to a wife as part of a divorce settlement. Child support, certainly, but NOT money to the wife herself, unless and until she is disabled and completely unable to work to support herself.

Read this:

http://start.att.net/news/read/article/people-john_schneider_sentenced_to_jail_after_failing_to-rtime/category/entertainment

John Schneider Sentenced to Jail After Failing to Pay Alimony to Estranged Wife: Report

Dukes of Hazzard star John Schneider has reportedly been sentenced to jail for not paying over $150,000 in delinquent alimony.

John, 58, was sentenced to three days in the Los Angeles County Jail on Monday, according to TMZ, for not paying the spousal support due to his estranged wife, Elvira “Elly” Schneider, by mid-March.

In addition to jail time, John, who famously played Bo Duke on The Dukes of Hazzard (1979-85), will also have to complete 240 hours of community service.

A rep for Schneider did not respond to PEOPLE’s request for comment.

In February, the outlet reported that a judge gave him until March 14 to pay more than $150,000 in support to Elvira. At the time, the judge reportedly ordered John to transfer his Apple Valley property to Elvira and to resolve the property’s tax liens. TMZ reported that he did not resolve the tax liens.

Elvira filed for divorce in Los Angeles county on Nov. 14, 2014, after 21 years of marriage. She cited irreconcilable differences as the reason for their split, according to court documents.

In September 2016, he was ordered to pay Elvira $18,911 every month, TMZ reported.

The couple have three adult children: Leah, Chasen, and Karis.

This REALLY bothers me because I myself went through a divorce from my wife Cheri in 2012, and she was mentally and physically disabled, but I was not required to pay her alimony, because she still was able to work a job. Indeed the issue was not even brought up. But that was in Texas; I suspect the divorce laws are much more backward and corrupt in California.

People in California, and any other state that has this sort of absurdity, need to push for abolition of alimony in divorces. It is a relic from the time when women were either not working at all or could only hold jobs that paid far less than men. That’s not an issue now.

The “Daddy Never Raped Me” Defense

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Some people are notorious for lacking empathy. Others are equally notorious for only seeing things a certain way and never imagining what someone else could have experienced. Put those two together and you have a situation like what Taylor Swift is going through now.
Read this story:

http://start.att.net/news/read/article/the_associated_press-the_latest_swift_security_guard_testifies_in_gropi-ap

The Latest: Lawyer for DJ accused by Taylor Swift rests case

DENVER (AP) — The Latest on a civil trial involving Taylor Swift and a former DJ she accused of groping her (all times local):

12:10 p.m.

The attorney for the ex-Denver DJ who says Taylor Swift falsely accused him of groping her has rested his case.

The last witness called by lawyer Gabriel McFarland on behalf of David Mueller was Mueller’s ex-girlfriend, Shannon Melcher.

Taylor’s attorney, David Baldridge, said he plans to ask for a ruling that Mueller did not prove his case when court reconvenes Friday afternoon.

Melcher testified that she met Taylor Swift along with Mueller at a pre-concert photo op in Denver’s Pepsi Center in 2013.

She says she saw nothing happen during the brief encounter. She says she and Mueller were rudely confronted and escorted out of the arena that evening.

Melchor says Mueller was devastated by the accusation. She says she and Mueller started out as co-workers at country station KYGO and became romantically involved in February 2013. They drifted apart late in 2013, but Melchor says they remained friends.

Mueller sued Swift , seeking up to $3 million because he was fired after Swift accused him of groping her.

Swift countersued, seeking a $1 judgment in her favor and alleging assault.

The accused groper’s ex-girlfriend should have been barred from testifying unless she could testify that he groped her too. Instead she used what I call the “Daddy never raped me” defense: Since she was never sexually assaulted by her boyfriend at the time, she assumes he could not have assaulted Taylor Swift. But that is bullshit; the girlfriend was not a world famous pop star. Men can often lust after famous women in ways they would not for women who are not famous. Men can also feel more comfortable raping women who are complete strangers while not raping women they know personally or are even related to.

Please note that the accused groper is the one who filed the lawsuit against Swift, not the other way around, an extraordinary act of hubris! The fact that Swift is not asking for much money in her countersuit and described in detail the assault gives her credibility he does not have. And then there is this pic:
1502380214922

THAT LOOKS PRETTY DAMNING TO ME!

The defection of Laci Green

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The story of Laci Green has been covered by me on the following blog entries:

https://dalehusband.com/2009/02/24/battle-on-youtube-between-two-atheists/

https://dalehusband.com/2012/07/10/a-death-threat-against-laci-green/

https://dalehusband.com/2013/01/02/laci-green-condemns-witch-hunts/

I first heard of her when she was an atheist activist, but after a while she dropped that issue and focused on positive sex education instead, becoming very popular on YouTube. But now it appears Laci has abandoned the hard-core progressive views she once held and is attacking her former allies. Let me state that while I am disappointed in this development, I am not surprised; I suspect it was a delayed reaction to her being sent those insane death threats by the left-wing extremists on Tumblr. I hope those bastards are happy for having alienated her! Continue reading →

Abortion Autonomy

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Read this story:

http://womendeliver.org/2016/women-perform-abortions/

Inna Hudaya was a woman in trouble. Lying in a shoddy hotel room, she squeezed her eyes closed as an old woman performed an abortion on her with no anesthesia and no painkillers. They barely spoke a word after the exchange of money — a lot of money, money Hudaya had borrowed and for which she had sold many of her possessions including her motorbike to repay. This, Hudaya thought to herself, is how I will die.

But what else was she supposed to do? She was 22, pregnant, unmarried, and living in Indonesia, a country where abortion remains illegal in nearly all cases and out-of-wedlock pregnancy is intensely stigmatized. A medical student, Hudaya was just getting a toehold on a life she hoped would keep her out of Tasikmalaya, the conservative city she fled after high school. Having a baby would mean the end of everything: her studies, her relationship with her family, her freedom.

The procedure ended, and Hudaya walked out of the hotel room alive. The pain, though, persisted. Her relationship ended. A close relative disowned her, telling her it is a sin for a woman to kill her own blood. For years, Hudaya had the same dream: a baby chasing her, crying.

Continue reading →

Ophelia Benson vs. Richard Dawkins

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A few months ago, in response to a rumor that Ophelia Benson, an atheist and feminist activist, was also a transphobe (a bigot against transgendered people), she was targeted by a massive witch hunt similar to the one on tumblr stirred up against Lacy Green years earlier. As a result, Benson left Freethought Blogs (FTB) in disgust and founded her own personal blog elsewhere, badly damaging the credibility of FTB, so much so that one of its founding members, Ed Brayton, also took down his blog there and moved to another network.

Now Benson has been attacked again, in reference to Richard Dawkins suffering a mild stroke recently. Around the same time, he was disinvited to a skeptics conference and then just as quickly reinvited to it. The battle between them produced the exchange of the following statements between them and one of Dawkins’ fanatical followers. Continue reading →

Buckley gets what Rebecca Watson bashers do not want to admit!

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First, some past references to both persons involved to get you up to speed:

https://dalehusband.com/2014/06/01/adam-buckley/

https://dalehusband.com/2011/07/05/the-downfall-of-richard-dawkins-credibility/

Buckley just put out a video in which he discusses the issue of “Netflix and chill” and bluntly deals with it.

Which puts THIS part of Rebecca’s video in context:

Which is exactly why the uproar by a lot of sexist male pigs several years ago about her comments on this specific matter  was so revealing, indeed!

 

 

How NOT to rape someone

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Here are some rules for men who do not want to be accused of raping a woman:

1. ALWAYS ask the women directly during a date in a private setting, “Do you want to have sex with me?”   If her response is anything other than, “Yes,” drop the issue and do not bring it up again until she does.

2. Never talk about the experience of having sex with anyone other than a licensed therapist, your parents or other guardians (if you are underaged), or a clergyperson in a counseling session. PRIVATE MATTERS MUST REMAIN PRIVATE. Other men do not need to know how you “banged that hot chick last night”.

3. The claim that women claim to be raped because they regret having sex with a man long after the fact is simply self-serving bullshit. Do not repeat that claim, ever.

4. Even if you use protection or any form of birth control, PROMISE the woman that if she gets pregnant, you will either support the child or pay for an abortion, whichever she decides.

5. Do not merely be a woman’s sex partner…..be her LOVER. Be willing to share in anything she does or is involved in or ask her to share in things you enjoy. If you do not want a complete relationship with a woman, you can always masturbate by yourself.

6. Unless your partner is a porn star, you do not need to take or possess nude pics of her. And NEVER post them online!

That is all for now.  If I think of more, or if you have your own suggestions for rules, this list will be added to.