Mormon Missionaries, Made Stupid

Remember this blog entry from several years ago?

https://dalehusband.com/2011/06/05/mormonism-a-failed-religion/

It included this video, which I shall also post here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TbwT4j-mLdw

If you want further proof of how ridiculous it really is to be a Mormon Missionary, just look at these web pages on the official website for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
https://www.lds.org/callings/missionary/dress-grooming?lang=eng&_r=1

First of all, it seems odd to me that missionaries that are young men are called “elders”. So what are the senior couples that are missionaries called? Senile?

https://missionary.lds.org/clothing/elder/faq?lang=eng

What hairstyles are unacceptable for missionaries?
Unacceptable hairstyles include faux hawks, crew cuts, mullets, and styles that are spikey, messy, or permed. Always maintain a conservative hairstyle. Do not bleach or dye your hair. The style, color, and length of your hair should not distract others from your message. See examples of appropriate hairstyles.


What are the guidelines for sideburns?
Sideburns should reach no lower than the middle of the ear. See examples of appropriate sideburns.


What is the difference between “Regular Missionary Attire” and “Sunday-Best attire”?
During regular everyday missionary activities, you are not required to wear a suit coat over your white shirt and tie. On these occasions, wear dress slacks that look professional and hold a crease. 
When attending activities such as Sunday meetings, zone conferences, interviews, baptismal services, and some teaching appointments, you should wear your “Sunday-best” clothes such as your best suit, shirt, tie, and shoes.

What clothing should I wear on preparation day?
On preparation day you should wear regular missionary clothing in public. However, if necessary for a specific activity, you may wear more casual clothing. See examples.

What style shirt can I wear for service and exercise activities?
You may bring a few T-shirts for service and exercise activities; however, do not wear clothing with slogans or logos that are not consistent with your calling as a missionary. See examples.

What are the guidelines for ties?
Ties should be simple in color and design and professional in style. Ties should not contain pictures or caricatures. String, bow, skinny, or wide ties are not acceptable. Do not, for any reason, wear ties that draw attention, appear unprofessional, and distract others from your message. See examples of appropriate ties.


Can I wear a tie pin?
Yes. You may wear a simple tie pin or bar. However, tie pins or bars should be conservative in width and length and should not contain pictures or characters. See examples.

What are the guidelines for belt buckles?
Belts should be simple and should match the color of your shoes. Do not wear large belt buckles or buckles with logos or caricatures.


When am I required to wear a suit coat?
You are not required to wear a suit coat over your white shirt and tie during regular everyday missionary activities. However, your mission president is authorized to determine appropriate missionary attire for each climate and season and can help you identify occasions requiring regular missionary attire and occasions requiring “Sunday-best” attire.

How can I stay warm and dry during regular missionary activities?
To stay dry and warm during regular missionary activities, you may add any of the following layers over your white shirt and tie:
Sweater
Suit coat
Rainwear
Winter coat
Be sure to wear your nametag on the outside layer of clothing so that others may clearly identify you as a missionary.


How can I stay warm and dry in my “Sunday-best” attire?
To stay dry and warm during activities that require you to dress your best and wear your suit coat, you may add layers as needed:
First, layer a suit vest or sweater under your suit coat. (Suit vests may not be worn alone, but only under your suit coat.)
Second, if you are still not warm enough with a sweater or vest, you may add another layer over your suit coat such as an overcoat or raincoat. 
Be sure to wear your nametag on the outermost layer of clothing so that others may clearly identify you as a missionary.


What types of sweaters are appropriate?
Sweaters should be in solid, conservative colors and be business professional in appearance. See examples.


Can I wear a hoodie or sweatshirt for regular missionary activities?
Do not wear hoodies, sweatshirts, or other casual sweaters during everyday missionary activities.


What fabrics are best for warm and cold climates?
Shirts made with a polyester-cotton blend will help wick away moisture from your skin and keep you dry in hotter climates and warm in cooler climates.
Suits made with wool or a polyester-wool blend are more breathable in hotter climates and provide insulation in cooler climates.
Overcoats and jackets made with a breathable, waterproof material will help keep you drier and warmer in wet weather.

May I wear a hat to provide additional protection from the sun?
In addition to sunscreen, you may wear conservative, wide-brimmed hats to help protect you from the sun. A hat with at least a three-inch surrounding brim usually offers necessary protection to your face and neck. Avoid bright-colored hats or hats that are too casual or that may distract from your message. Baseball, cowboy, bucket, newsboy, and fedora hats are not acceptable. Do not wear hats indoors. See examples of hats.


What are the guidelines for wearing sunglasses?
You may wear sunglasses to protect your eyes from overexposure to the sun. Sunglasses must look professional and not draw undue attention. Do not wear sunglasses with bright-colored rims or mirrored lenses. Unless there is a medical need for keeping them on, remove your sunglasses when you speak with others or when you are indoors. See examples of sunglasses.


Am I allowed to wear jewelry or watches?
For safety and security reasons, accessories should be simple and conservative and should not distract others from your message. You may wear one simple ring and an inexpensive, conservative-style watch. Do not wear lapel pins, necklaces, or any kind of bracelet (except those with a medical purpose). Tattoos, nose rings, other body piercings, or toe rings are not acceptable.

Are backpacks allowed?
Backpacks are not allowed. If you need to carry additional items, you are encouraged to choose shoulder bags that are durable, professional, and business-like. See examples.

That was for the “elders”. Here are the dress and grooming standards for “sisters”:

https://missionary.lds.org/clothing/sister/faq/?lang=eng
How many outfits should I bring?
Follow the suggestions found in the “Items Specific to Your Mission” section of your call packet. A good guideline is to bring enough clothing to last one week. Be aware of the luggage restrictions for your mission.

What does it mean to be “faddish”?
“Faddish” refers to extreme trends and fashions that draw attention, appear unprofessional, and distract from your message. You should strive to look your best. Wear current styles that are age appropriate; however, avoid faddish styles.

What is too tight?
Tight clothing is formfitting and draws attention to specific parts of the body. Your clothes should fit well but still maintain adequate looseness. If you wear clothing with a stretch type of fabric, be sure to maintain a modest, professional appearance.

What is tailored, professional clothing?
Tailored clothing fits well without being too tight or too loose and has finished edges. Professional clothing is modest and current in style.

What can I wear on preparation day?
On preparation day, wear missionary attire in public. However, if necessary for a specific activity, you may wear more casual clothing. Be sure to maintain a high standard of modesty in all activities—especially during activities that require you to stoop down or bend over—by avoiding low-rise jeans and shirts with revealing necklines. See the “Items Specific to Your Mission” section of your call packet for more information on what to bring for preparation day. See examples.

What is appropriate skirt length?
Skirts should fully cover the entire knee (front and back) when you are standing or sitting. Slits should not be above the knee when standing or sitting. See examples.


What are the guidelines for ankle-length skirts?
Choose skirts that are modest and look professional. Skirts should not be too tight, transparent, revealing, casual, wrinkled, sloppy, or faddish. Do not wear floor-length skirts. See examples of ankle-length skirts.


How do I know if I am approved to wear dress slacks in my mission?
Check the “Items Specific to Your Mission” section of your call packet or click here to see if you are approved during seasons when the risk is high for mosquito bites to wear dress slacks during regular missionary activities to provide additional protection from mosquito-borne diseases. If you are approved to do so, be sure to choose dress slacks that are modest and look professional. Do not wear dress slacks that are too tight, that are cropped above the ankle, or that touch the floor. Dress slacks should fit well (not be too tight or too loose), and be in solid, conservative colors. They should not be transparent, revealing, casual, wrinkled, sloppy, or faddish. Do not wear pantsuits, baggy slacks, or skinny-style slacks. See examples of dress slacks.


Do shirts have to be tucked in?
Shirts and blouses do not have to be tucked in; however, if leaving shirts untucked, ensure that the shirt presents a tailored, professional appearance. Avoid a casual, wrinkled, or sloppy look.

Can I wear a shirt with a cap sleeve?
Sleeves should fully cover the shoulder and the upper portion of the arm, including the underarm, to cover the garment. Generally, a cap sleeve is a very short sleeve that does not fully cover the shoulder. Shirts with cap sleeves should not be worn alone, but may be worn under blouses or tops to increase modesty.


Is layering shirts appropriate?
You may layer shirts under blouses and tops to increase modesty; however, undershirts should not be noticeably longer than the top layer. Avoid sloppy, tight, or casual styles.


When do I wear nylons or tights?
You are not required to wear nylons or tights; however, you may wear them, especially in colder weather. Your nylons and tights should not attract attention. Choose nylons, no-show socks (for dress shoes), and tights in conservative, neutral colors. Avoid bright, colorful nylons or tights. Patterned nylons or tights should be subtle and simple in design and should not be made of any kind of mesh, fishnet, or lace material. If you wear knee-highs, make sure the tops do not show, even when sitting. Bobby socks are not professional or appropriate.


Can I wear leggings?
In colder climates, you may wear dark, conservative-colored leggings; however, they should only be worn under longer skirts to increase warmth. Wear boots or similarly colored nylons to avoid showing the bottom of the legging.


Can I wear open-toed shoes and sandals?
For safety purposes, it is suggested that your footwear have a closed toe and closed heel. However, this may vary according to your mission climate and individual health conditions. See the “Items Specific to Your Mission” section of your call packet.

What is an appropriate hair length?
There is no specified appropriate hair length. The length of your hair should be easy to manage and should not distract from the message. See examples.

Can I color my hair?
The color of your hair should look natural and conservative. If you decide to color your hair, consider time, frequency, and cost.

What are the guidelines for hair accessories?
If you wear hair accessories, including headbands, choose styles that are simple. Avoid large hair accessories that draw attention and distract from your message. See examples.

Can I wear nail polish?
Nail polish should be subtle in color and style and should not draw attention.

Can I wear perfume or scented lotion?
If you choose to wear perfume or scented lotion, make sure it is not distracting or overpowering.

What are the guidelines for jewelry?
For safety and security reasons, jewelry and all other accessories should be simple and professional. Earrings should not hang longer than approximately one inch below the earlobe. Do not wear more than one earring in each ear. Necklaces and rings should also be simple and conservative. See examples.

May I wear a hat to provide additional protection from the sun?
In addition to sunscreen, you may wear conservative, wide-brimmed hats to help protect you from the sun. A hat with at least a three-inch surrounding brim usually offers necessary protection to your face and neck. Avoid bright-colored hats or hats that are too casual or that may distract from your message. Baseball, cowboy, bucket, newsboy, and fedora hats are not acceptable. Do not wear hats indoors. See examples of appropriate hats.


What are the guidelines for wearing sunglasses?
You may wear sunglasses to protect your eyes from overexposure to the sun. Sunglasses must look professional and not draw undue attention. Do not wear sunglasses with bright-colored rims or mirrored lenses. Unless there is a medical need for keeping them on, remove your sunglasses when you speak with others or when you are indoors. See examples of sunglasses.


What are the guidelines for belts?
Belts may be worn with outfits for function or style. Choose belts that are simple and conservative in color and design.

Did it ever occur to the Mormon leaders that the best way to encourage people to join their religion was to have their missionaries blend in with the locals to show that regardless of their preferred form of dress and grooming, they would still be welcome? Having strict standards of dress and grooming that have nothing to do with cleanliness and everything to do with cultural extremism is exactly what a cult does.

2 thoughts on “Mormon Missionaries, Made Stupid

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