Beauty, ugliness, and crossed wired thinking!

One of the ugliest incidents I’ve ever seen in the Care2 web community started over… pageants!

Specifically, we were discussing in a political group a snafu involving the 2007 Miss Teen South Carolina in which she stumbled badly over answering a question regarding geography during a beauty contest. A friend of mine, whom I’ll protect by naming her Kelly, said the following:

“This peagents should be banned or at least reinvented, I think are worst are the ones with children.

I think the children peagents are sick absolutely sick.

Those poor kids do not have a normal life. They have to be taken to many peageants around USA.

At least teenagers can have a “mind” of the own( not the case we saw before ofcourse) but at least they have more options Children peagents are an American fenomenom I guess.

Beauty is a whole of things, not just a beautiful face or a beautiful body. It also needs to have a beautiful soul and mind.

I have to say I used to enjoy watching some of the contest like Miss World or miss Universesometimes.
But its something that I gradually began to understand that this women and girls need more than superficial beauty and our “need” of beauty can make others to suffer.”

Suddenly, two others, who I’ll name Debby and Brad, began to attack Kelly. It seems that Debby makes a living working for beauty pagaeants and was thus highly offended by Kelly’s comment. So to humiliate Kelly, Brad posted a pic of her and her husband together. Kelly appeared slightly overweight and had skin blemishes on her face, the kind women use makeup to hide. The implication seemed to be “Kelly, you are too FAT and UGLY to ever win a beauty contest, that’s why you attack them!” What made it even worse was that Brad was a co-host of the group in which the incident occured, and yet he was participating in the disruption of the very group he was supposed to protect, thus betraying the group’s owner.

At that point, all hell broke loose! I saw Debby and Brad’s personal attacks and jumped in to confront them. They refused to apologize to the other group members, many of whom were as outraged as I was, for their insult and ran away from the group altogether.

I’ve known Debby for some time, and she does have a bad temper, tending to make hateful attacks at people. I decided that she and Brad should be banned from Care2, so I urged all the other members of the group to flag their profiles so the Care2 admin would know what they had done. As a result of my suggestion, Debby and Brad went after me, and began trashing me all over Care2 as well as Kelly! Finally, my Care2 account was suspended for about 24 hours, and so were Debby and Brad’s accounts as well.

I have no regrets about defending my friend Kelly. No matter what she looks like, she didn’t deserve to be slammed and lied about like she was by Brad and Debby, who used to be Kelly’s friends. I myself do consider beauty pageants to be degrading to women, just as Kelly does. And a woman’s weight or her having bad skin is irrelevant to that issue. For anyone to make THAT the issue instead of the problem of beauty pagaents themselves and how THEY treat or portray women and girls is as childish and mean-spirited as it gets!

9 thoughts on “Beauty, ugliness, and crossed wired thinking!

  1. Pingback: Silly Old Bear's Grins and Grumps

  2. Dale, thankyou for writing this. I found this at SB’s “Silly Old Grins & Grumps” and I just had to come and leave you a comment.

    It infuriates me to see that in the 21st Century, women are still regarded – and treated – as little more than objects. For example, sit down and watch the television some night and count how many ads you see for women’s personal products (deodorant, tampons, etc.). Then, count how many ads you see for men’s personal products. You won’t have anything to count for the men.

    Beauty pageants are a waste of time and a huge insult to women. Contestants are not allowed to just be themselves; they have to learn how to walk, how to talk, what to say to specific answers, how to dress, and so much more. Essentially, they have to become someone completely different from who they are, and it infuriates me to no end. I won’t even allow my husband to watch the pageants, specifically because they’re degrading to women.

    I hope to see more articles like this from you, Dale. I know we’ve butted heads a few times over the last few years, but while we’ve disagreed on some things, I’ve always regarded you as a very smart man. Keep writing stuff like this, and I’ll be quite happy to start referring people here by linking to you.

  3. I’d like to add that while my Care2 account was suspended, Kelly’s account never was. I guess the Care2 admin decided she had been abused enough. But what would have been more just was banning Brad and Debby forever from Care2 and not suspending me at all.

  4. WS,

    “Then, count how many ads you see for men’s personal products. You won’t have anything to count for the men.”

    In one specific night, I can right off the top of my head predict ads for five personal products for men – Gillette, in various shapes and forms – now also with electronic chips and electrical wired heads, to get an even closer shave. (What’s wrong with beards?) Nivea for men, various products – including deodorants, peeling, moisturizer, and believe it or not cellulite remover! Hugo Boss – various smells, all designed to make the man using it attractive to women, strong, sexy, and youthful (according to the commercial) Gainomax to help you get those muscles that will make you irresistible to women, and Regaine which promises to not just stop hair loss, but actually regrow the hair you have lost….

    Gender roles are gender roles – and even if it’s are not as hyped for men, it is out there and it is gaining a lot of ground in terms of objectification of men in much the same way it has for women – “we” are just “late bloomers” in that department 🙂

  5. Dale: This may upset you, but I feel that in this case, Care2 did the only thing they felt they could do. “Debby” and “Brad” started it, yes, but you didn’t help matters by trying to rally people to flag them. I’m sorry, but if you think about that, you know that’s true. ::holds palm up in gesture of peace:: Hopefully, everyone has learned something from this, though, and cooler heads will prevail if it happens again…

    SB: Okay, there are those ads, yes. I guess I should have been a bit more clear, and I apologize for not doing that. What I meant was that there aren’t any ads for things like jock itch, whereas there are all kinds of ads for tampons, yeast infection medications, and the like. That’s what I meant. I do see your point, though, about gender roles being gender roles, and how objectification does exist, even if it’s on a different level… 🙂

  6. *lol* WS,
    Agreed – though something to help against jock itch might actually be a huge sales item, not to speak about something to alleviate the problem with ingrown hairs, for those who do shave… and briefs with built in cups/jockstraps *lol* Personally I could use that last item.

  7. Dale, I was so confused, but then got more of an idea as to what happen and am now happy to see you back.
    I only have one comment to make from a previous comment above.

    I will see ADs for ED over and over and over, more then I see for tampons, more then vag itch, more then I see for birth control or Womans deoderant.

    But I see ADs for Erectial Disfuction and Rogaine all day everyday.

    To me that is also just another superficial show of what more men then less think woman are on this earth for.
    I am not against pageants, but you wouldn’t catch either of my 2 daughters in one.

  8. Pingback: The final downfall of Care2 is coming | Dale Husband's Intellectual Rants

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